Title : True Lies
Rating : R (for language and description of violence)
Pairing : Sakumoto Sho/Jun (only mention of others)
Genre: Spies AU (one-shot)
Word Count: ~3000
Disclaimer: Own nothing. Fiction. Everybody knows that already.
Summary : Jun and Sho are spies. Shit and feelings happen. I am not good at this. Jun's P.O.V.
Thanks to cypros for checking this out first.
Notes: It's been literally ages since last time I wrote something. I really thought I couldn't finish anything... And this came. It isn't a super original plot, I think, but had fun writing it and it's what I usually would love to read: yes, the h/c works for me. This is NOT the Prime Minister AU, sadly... (just yet)
Inspired in some weird way by the Class J poster and Sho's latest Jins cm...
Btw: No Sho was damaged in the writing of this fic.



I have known Sakurai Sho for the best part of my adult life, or better said semi-adult, as I was, quite possibly, ridiculously young when I joined the agency. I was also ridiculously stupid.

Well, to be precise, I was too eager to please and too eager to learn and at that time, 'know-it-all', 'too-full-of-himself' Sakurai, was all I needed to feel that I belonged, that I was in the right place.

How was I to blame for being starry-eyed and drawn towards Sho like a bee to a honey pot?

He was absolutely all I wanted to be. Yeah, you can say he was my hero - truth is, he still is.

At that time, Sho had this special aura that made me see no faults on him: he was serious, incredibly focused to achieve what he aimed for, very hard worker, and he was succeeding in placing one milestone after another for those 'agents-to-be' who trained/studied with him.

Sho was destined to be at the top and I really wanted to be there with him.

Even being self-righteous and a jerk sometimes, Sho was unbelievably patient. I am still surprised that he didn't kick me out of his side, during the first week of our acquaintance.

I still don't know what he saw in me -I was taller than him, thinner than him, more naive than him, with a mouth full of teeth that were in the process of being in their right place thanks to my dentist...
Why, yes, I was an ugly duckling, if you want to use the analogy, but still he didn't mind.

Sho was the perfect swan and he accepted me, so I just pushed myself harder so I didn't let him down. The worst that could have happened to me at the time would have been losing Sho's approval.

However, something got in the way of our camaraderie -I would've called it friendship, because that was what it was to me, though I truly didn't know what was for him-. As I said, what got in the way was this uncomfortable thing for Sho to deal with called 'feelings'.

I don't want to put all the blame on him, because although there has been plenty of times when I've thought Sho was unfair, honestly, I had my share in how things ended.

Think of things this way: Sho was my role model. He accepted me the way I was and encouraged me to get better, to achieve my dream... It got to a point that I may have got a bit too attached to him and against everybody's believes, my feelings run deeper.

I started caring too much about him. It was a confusing phase and as I trusted Sho with my life, in the complete sense of the word, I... I... made the mistake of telling him that I loved him.

It's funny how I still have the scene engraved in my brain... The panic written all over Sho's face. The first
time in my entire life I witnessed Sho losing it and being out of words. If my heart hadn't got broken in that exact moment, I would have called everybody's attention, so they could see something that was unthinkable.

I didn't even get the chance to explain myself. I mean, at the time it was just a general feeling of 'loving him' as in 'caring for him', 'being thankful to him for all he did for me', 'looking up to him as the older brother I didn't have'. It was the shortest way I had to letting him know how important he was to me.

But what I managed to do instead was pushing him away. Sakurai Sho disappeared from my life.

His upgrade to field agent came in perfect timing. It became practically impossible to see or reach him at all.

So I patched my heart back together as well as I could and dealt with it, probably turning into an insufferable asshole for a little while -if you ask around-. People around me those days couldn't imagine what I was dealing with.

Anyway, year and a half later I was upgraded to field agent myself and after being partnered with a veteran agent for a while, I landed in the worst assignment I could fathom: they partnered me with their top agent at the time, because I was really good and we would be unstoppable. The other half of my team was Sakurai... Sho.

Sho, poor thing, all impeccable manners and diplomacy, tried to keep his cool and hide his discomfort, doing his best to ignore the elephant in the room.

However, I had grown up, matured, probably more than Sho could have guessed I would in such a short period of time -sadness can drown you but can also propel you to unimaginable heights and that's what happened to me- so in that first meeting I wanted to start clean. I wanted old Sakurai back, the focused, driven, 'stick-up-his-ass' Sho, not an insecure jerk with failing tendencies.

My luck was that I got both.

So after a couple of missions -one of which almost got us killed- I had to shove Sho up against a wall and not very delicately warn him that I wouldn't have less that being on the top of all field agents. I wanted to be the best and I needed him working with me, not against me.

I think I also did mention that he should forget what I said to him long ago, that it was a kid's infatuation and my ignorance about feelings at the time.

Sho simply nodded in silence. I saw the same sadness and panic in his eyes than I did when I said those three words that killed our friendship.

I admitted that I wanted my friend back and I was terribly relieved when Sho offered me his chipmunk smile, followed by his hand for me to shake and the spoken promise that we could do that, be friends again.

We have been best buddies and a perfectly coordinated team ever since. I can't really number the missions we've been together. We are the most skillful and resourceful of all the active teams, and although we are not the only ones in our department, I like to think that the dynamic Sho and I have works like magic, to get the job done.

Until our last mission...

Since the start I got a bad feeling about it. Apart from the sensitive 'national security' matter in hands, we were dealing with a more dangerous than average organization.
First part of the mission wasn't that difficult: to retrieve what they had what our agency wanted back, mainly because it didn't belong to them. Everything went okay, until they got Sho.

I could blame it to the fact that it was a hard op or that Sho was unusually distracted for being Sho. Truth is it happened and I had to deal with things as they were.

I was in hiding until I could put in safe hands what we took from them and they wanted back, but to my surprise, I got more affected by Sho's abduction than I thought.

Rules said that my priority should have been get back to the stand-by van and handle them the item and allow that a recovery team got to Sho. But, I needed Sho back right in that moment. I thought of all the horrible things they could be doing to him, if he was still alive, and I couldn't handle it.

Then, struck me like lighting: I cared about Sho too much. I could keep calling it friendship, camaraderie or whatever I wanted, because it was just what he could offer to me but I was in love with him, always had been and, sadly for me, probably would always be.

Under the risk of losing my status, I contacted the back up team, gave them what they were expecting and announced that I was going to get Sho myself.

Luckily, they decided to stick around, in case I needed help. These guys! They deserve some rounds of drinks on me.

I can't remember clearly what or how I did it. I don't know how many 'bad guys' I knocked out and got rid of until I found Sho. I just remember the taste of bile in my mouth when I found him.

Sho was seated and cuffed to a metal chair screwed to the floor. The stench of blood was unbearable but nothing compared to the state Sho was in.

My first thought was that I had arrived too late, that he was gone. It made me sick to my stomach to realize that those bastards were really fans of old-fashioned torture techniques. Nails and some teeth out of where they should be, broken bones, flesh and blood that belonged to some place in Sho's body that I didn't want to think about...

Apart from using him as punching ball. There was not spot in Sho's face that wasn't bruised swollen or bloody.

It took me a couple of seconds to react and reach for Sho. I breathed relieved when I discovered he was alive. I think I hadn't been happier in my whole life.

As I was freeing him from the cuffs, he stirred slightly to cough blood mainly, which made me want to hit something. To my surprise he managed to talk.

'Didn't tell them anything,' he mumbled.

'I know, Sho, I know,' I reassured him. I knew Sho would prefer to be dead than spill the beans about his partner or the organization he worked for.

'Do you think you can walk?' I asked aloud, although taking a closer look to his feet and one of his legs, I was pretty sure I knew the answer.

Sho left out a chuckle that sounded more like a sob. 'Don't worry, I got you,' I said, helping him to a barely standing position before hauling him on my shoulder and rushing out of the place.

In my way to the van I recalled apologizing to him, in case I was hurting him further than he was. All Sho managed to say was 'thank you' and 'I'm sorry' until he felt unconscious as we reached the back up team.

Shortly after, the morning I was allowed to visit him at the hospital, I already knew I was in temporal suspension for not following protocol. I was pissed as I walked down the corridor to his room, but I forgot completely what I was mad about, the moment I entered. I just felt pain. A growing hurt in my heart that almost suffocated me.

I couldn't see a part of Sho that didn't look like it didn't hurt. His right forearm and hand were bandaged to almost double the size of his unscathed one. I didn't know -didn't want to know- what else I couldn't see under the bed covers.

It is different when you read or are told about the damage, from the moment you actually see it.

Broken fingers, lost the tip of one of them, reconstructive surgery with pins, they told me. It pained me because Sho used to play piano and I doubted he would be able to from now on.

It's funny how that was my first worry, instead of the most simple fact, that was that probably Sho had to say goodbye to the field and would be assigned to desk work, far away from me.

He also would have a long stay in hospital until his most serious injuries were on the mend.

The 'beep' sound from the machine controlling Sho's vitals was the only sound in the room until I realized I was sobbing.

I cursed myself for sounding like a lost little boy. It was good that I was alone and that Sho was sleeping.

Even with bruises and cuts and a broken nose, I found his face to be incredibly cute.

By the time I left he hadn't waken up.

A couple of days later, I was informed that I would be an active agent in some weeks and that agent Toma would be my partner. Toma and I are friends so I had no problem working for him. Those news weren't what got me riled up that morning, though.

Agent Ohno, senior agent on my team, insisted in having a word with me, when what I most wanted was to visit Sho at the hospital.

He took me to our desks, Sho's and mine and handled me a folder.

After scanning the pages I wanted to kill Sho.

I stormed into his hospital room, with little less than a short knock on the door as a warning. Agent Aiba was visiting and I think I scared him out of the room with the excuse of getting a coffee.

'Explain this to me,' I asked, straight to the point, holding up the folder in my hand so he could see it.

I'd swear Sho gulped. 'That's classified,' he started to say, trying to distract me of the main point there.

'You refused a promotion to head of the team. Why? You wanted that. You have always wanted to go higher. Why?' I asked as I approached the bed to threw the folder to his feet.

'You know why. If you have the folder, you must have read it all,' Sho explained.

I did know, but I didn't really get it. Was age making Sho softer? Since when he preferred to keep having me as partner than escalate in his career?

'We both know we are good as a team, probably because we are also friends, but Sho, this opportunity... You know I would have taken it if it was me the one being offered one,' I admitted.

'Would you?' Sho asked looking me in the eye for a second, before lowering his sight to the bed covers on his lap. 'Yes, you probably would,' he said with a hint of regret -or maybe disappointment- in his voice.

I looked at him confused but he didn't give me a chance to think further as he excused himself and said that needed to take a nap.

I nodded and left the room bidding my goodbyes. Walking my way to the elevator thinking about Sho's words, Sho's body language, my own feelings... something clicked in my head.

Hope.

I turned around and rushed back to Sho's room, not caring to knock. I startled him, which made him hiss as he tried to find a comfortable seating position.


I walked into the room but stopped for a second right next to the bed trying to assess the situation, because I really didn't want to ruin it again.

Sho's eyes were fixed on me but he said nothing.

'Sho...' I started, and leaning over him, I grabbed his face as gently but also, as firm as I could and kissed him, softly but determined. I needed to know if I had read between the lines correctly.

'Is this okay?' I asked him when I pulled myself away from his lips, still holding his face.

I felt his head nodding lightly against my palms. I took my hands off him to really look at him, and my heart went to my throat.

Sho was at the verge of tears and was turning his head to the other side, away from me. I took his good hand in mine. 'You silly man,' I admonished softly, seating by the edge of the bed.

I made him look at me again and I leaned over him and kissed him again, small kisses at the side of his mouth, on his perfect jaw line...

'I'm not going to ask for how long,' I whispered, 'but let's not waste more time, okay?'

Sho nodded again and reached for the front of my shirt, pulling me closer, anchoring me to where I was.

'I'm sorry,' he muttered between kisses.

I laughed nervously. He was the one in a hospital bed with a lot of recovering to do, I should be the one apologising, as he's my partner.

'Me too,' I said, rounding his body with my arms and hugging him until he groaned.

We pulled apart and laughed stupidly.



Epilogue

I left for Paris two days ago. The morning of my departure, Sho was more nervous than I was.

After he recovered more or less completely -still needs some physical therapy for his hand and knee and has to use glasses due to the damages caused to one of his eyes- he was assigned to the strategic team. Desk job, yes, but Sho has grown to love it.

We took our personal matter to our boss, and more or less surprisingly we got the okay to our relationship, mainly because we won't be working together as we did before, and with our promise to be discreet, which we are.

Later on, we learned that agents Ohno and Toma and agents Ninomiya and Aiba are also couples approved by the head of the department. Those stupid bastards, always acting like they were seeing each other in secret! I guess it must be that they love 'spy role playing' a bit too much.

Anyway, as I was saying, I was in Paris for a mission. The morning of my trip I was picked up at our apartment very early in the morning after Sho kissed me goodbye and asked me to be careful -I always am-.

After a day and a half of surveillance we are going into action. Toma and I are ready to crash a party in an small palace, retrieve some important documents without being noticed and disappear.

We are in position and we are checking the communication system. I press the earpiece to my ear and ask... 'Everything in order there? J and T here, do you copy?'

'Yes, J, I get you loud and clear,' I could hear Toma laughing his ass off at my side, probably due to the stupid look on my face.

'Sho?' I asked into the communication system. 'What...?'

'I wasn't going to miss the chance to be in Paris with you, so finish this as smoothly as possible, okay?'
came as way of explanation.

He can bet I'll try to be fast getting this one done. Have more important things to do after...

END