I have some Blackadder parts from the audiobooks in my ipod and every time I listen to them I can't stop laughing. It happened also today and I've decided to share the little piece because it's just amazing. Rowan Atkinson, Tony Robinson and Hugh Laurie at their best ;)



My favorite pieces from Dish and Dishonesty:

Prince George is dressing. Blackadder enters.

BLACKADDER: Sir, if I may make so bold, a major crisis has arisen in your affairs.
PRINCE GEORGE: Yes, I know Blackadder. I have been pondering it all morning.
BLACKADDER: You have, sir?
PRINCE GEORGE: Yes. Socks. Run out again. Why is it that no matter how many millions of pairs of socks I buy, I never seem to have any?
BLACKADDER: Sir, with your forgiveness, there is another, even weightier problem.
PRINCE GEORGE: They just disappear. Honestly, you'd think someone was coming in here stealing the damn things and selling them off.

Blackadder laughs calmly. For the first time the Prince is right about something.

BLACKADDER: Impossible, sir. Only you and I have access to your socks.
PRINCE GEORGE: Yes, yes, you're right. Still, for me, socks are like sex. Tons of it about but I never seem to get any.
BLACKADDER: Sir, if I may return to this very urgent matter. I read fearful news in this morning's paper.
PRINCE GEORGE: Oh, no! Not another little cat caught up in a tree?
BLACKADDER: No sir - there is a vote afoot in the new parliament to strike you from the civil list.
PRINCE GEORGE: Yes, yes, but what are they going to do about my socks?
BLACKADDER: Sir, if this bill goes through, you won't have any socks.
PRINCE GEORGE: Well, I haven't got any socks at the moment.
BLACKADDER: Or any trousers, shirts, waistcoats, or pantaloons. They're going to bankrupt you.
PRINCE GEORGE: But they can't do that - the public love me. Why, only the other day I was out in the street, and they sang 'We hail Prince George! We hail Prince George!'
BLACKADDER: 'We hate Prince George', sire. 'We hate Prince George'.
PRINCE GEORGE: Was it?

---

BLACKADDER: Certainly, sir. I shall return before you can say 'antidisestablishmentarianism'.
PRINCE GEORGE: Well, I wouldn't be too sure. 'Antidisist'... 'antidesi'... 'antidisestis'...

Blackadder leaves.

Two days later.

PRINCE GEORGE:'Antidistictly'...'minty'... 'monetarism'...
BLACKADDER: Your Highness, Sir Talbot Buxomly, MP.

---

Sir Talbot falls dead in a chair.

BLACKADDER: He's dead, sir.
PRINCE GEORGE: Dead?
BLACKADDER: Yes, your Highness.
PRINCE GEORGE: What bad luck - we were rather getting on.
BLACKADDER: We must move at one.
PRINCE GEORGE: In which direction?
BLACKADDER: As you know, your Highness, Sir Talbot represented the constituency of Dunny-on-the-Wold. And by an extraordinary stroke of luck it is a rotten borough.
PRINCE GEORGE: Really! Is it? Well, well. Lucky, lucky us. Yippee. Lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky. Lucky-lucky. Lucky. Luck-a-doodle-dandy-dingle. Luck lurrck. Lurrrck. Cluck, cluck, cluck. Lurrrrrck-cluck-cluck-cluck.
BLACKADDER: You don't know what a rotten borough is, do you, sir?
PRINCE GEORGE: No.
BLACKADDER: So what was the chicken impression in aid of?
PRINCE GEORGE: Well, I didn't want to hurt your feelings. So, what is a robber button?
BLACKADDER: Rotten borough.
PRINCE GEORGE: Well, quite.
BLACKADDER: A rotten borough, sir, is a constituency where the owner of the land corruptly controls both the voters and the MP.
PRINCE GEORGE: Good. Yes. And a robber button is...?
BLACKADDER: Can we leave that for a moment?
PRINCE GEORGE: Right. Yes.

---

Baldrick and Blackadder are at the kitchen filling the MP application form for Baldrick.

BLACKADDER: Name?
BALDRICK: Baldrick.
BLACKADDER: First name?
BALDRICK: Not sure.
BLACKADDER: You must have some idea.
BALDRICK: Well it might be Sod Off.
BLACKADDER: What?
BALDRICK: When I used to play in the gutter I used to say to the other snipes 'Hello, my name's is Baldrick' and they used to say 'Yes, we know. Sod off, Baldrick.'
BLACKADDER: Right. Mr. S. Baldrick. Now, distinguishing features? (He thinks it through) None.
BALDRICK: Well, I've got this big growth in the middle of my face here...
BLACKADDER: That's your nose, Baldrick. 'Any history of insanity in family?' Hmm... tell you what, I'll cross out the 'in'... (Reads) 'Any history of sanity in the family?'... (Writes) 'None whatsoever'. Now then, 'Criminal record?'
BALDRICK: Absolutely not.
BLACKADDER: Baldrick, you're going to be an MP, for God's sake. I'll put 'fraud, and sexual deviancy'... and finally, 'Minimum bribe level'...
BALDRICK: One turnip. Oh hang on, I don't want to price myself out of the market.
BLACKADDER: Baldrick, I've always been meaning to ask. Do you have any ambitions in life apart from the acquisition of turnips?
BALDRICK: No.
BLACKADDER: So what would you do if I gave you a thousand pounds?
BALDRICK: Oooh. I'd get a little turnip of my own.
BLACKADDER: And what would you do if I gave you a million pounds?
BALDRICK: Oh well, that's different. I'd get a great big turnip in the country.

If you've reached this far, this is your reward: you can listen to the ipod version of the episode.
Hope you love it as much as I do ;)